SteamGPT, Pokemon Champions launch, Samson launch + more!

Duration: 08:29

Timestamps:

0:00 Blinx and you'll miss it

0:14 Valve building 'SteamGPT'

1:30 Pokemon Champions' rock-type launch

3:13 Samson also has rough launch

4:36 QUICK BITS INTRO

4:44 Forza Horizon 6 previews

5:32 No Man's Sky Xeno Arena

6:10 Pokemon Go champion disqualified

6:54 Mass Effect TV show too gamer-ey

7:26 Kerbal Space Program player count

NEWS SOURCES:

MAINS

TRUST ISSUES, NOW AUTOMATED

Valve has been building an internal AI tool called SteamGPT, designed to automate support tickets, summarize accounts, and feed signals into CS2's anti-cheat, and we only know about it because of a new leak. https://www.pcworld.com/article/3110609/valve-is-quietly-building-its-own-ai-tool-called-steamgpt.html

Dataminer GabeFollower found references buried in a Steam client update and the protobuf files he surfaced show

https://x.com/gabefollower/status/2041616788178256245

it's way more than a chatbot name somebody thought was funny. https://lmg.gg/Githubfilesteamgptsummary

Editor: highlight the three SteamGPT files in the GitHub folder

The system has three moving parts. Each designed to handle internal processes. Like autohandling support tickets using account context, summarizing account details,

https://lmg.gg/steamgptthreethings

and providing player evaluations for CS2’s Trust Factor (“Trust score” taking a page out of Xi Jinping’s Social Credit system)

https://pickem-mongolia.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Trust-Factor-CS2-Guide-1.webp

Editor: img of trust factor rankings

What blows my mind about SteamGPTSummary - is it can instantly build a full dossier on your account the second the function is called…which is either super efficient or mildly terrifying, depending on how cursed your Steam hours look. https://github.com/SteamTracking/Protobufs/blob/master/webui/service_steamgptsummary.proto

We're talking location history, alt accounts, fraud signals, VAC bans, recent playtime, and whether your email is flagged as high-risk, all assembled possibly before a human has even read your ticket.

https://github.com/SteamTracking/Protobufs/blob/master/webui/service_steamgptsummary.proto

Editor: slow scroll through CSteamGPT_Summary, flash each field as host names it: existing_accounts, high_fraud_email, vacbans, playtime_forever, countries

So next time Steam Support seems weirdly well-informed about your account, that's not a human doing their homework. That's Valve's AI doing it before the ticket's even been read.

https://x.com/gabefollower/status/2041616788178256245/photo/1

Editor: Funny gaben image from the twitter post, fullscreen or over the shoulder for ending joke.

GOTTA CATCH ALL 187 OF 'EM

April 8 - Pokémon Champions launches to mixed reception, as performance woes and competitive changes turn some away

https://www.nintendolife.com/news/2026/04/feels-like-a-fleshed-out-beta-fans-are-unhappy-with-pokemon-champions-at-launch

https://www.eurogamer.net/pokemon-champions-reception-performance-woes-competitive-changes

Its missing alot of stuff

https://gamefragger.com/nintendo/pokemon-champions-faces-early-criticism-over-limited-pokdex-performance-issues-and-cut-items-a28205

List of example items: https://lmg.gg/fJ2oj

https://nintendoeverything.com/pokemon-champions-is-off-to-a-rough-start-heres-why/

An error can occur when transferring Pokemon from Pokemon Home.

https://www.gamespot.com/articles/pokemon-champions-bug-has-made-some-players-lose-access-to-their-precious-monsters/1100-6539280/

They have issued an apology and said fixes are incoming (Editor translate to English, show the headline then draw the eye to the bug list): https://news.pokemon-home.com/ja/page/758.html

It will be taken offline for 2 hours to address the bugs https://lmg.gg/sFM0T

One of the bugs made Gallade able to be female, and the internet crowned her as a trans icon

https://kotaku.com/pokemon-champions-trans-gallade-female-male-gardevoir-2000685803

Twitter post: https://x.com/justivenhere/status/2041713037892317460

It will be taken offline for 2 hours to address the bugs https://lmg.gg/sFM0T

JUST CAUSE FOR A REFUND

The creator of Just Cause released Samson yesterday, and it’s already landed at Mixed on Steam and the third-worst score of 2026 on Metacritic. https://www.ign.com/articles/we-released-a-game-with-flaws-for-a-number-of-reasons-samson-dev-promises-improvements-amid-mixed-reception

https://store.steampowered.com/app/3634520/Samson/

One reviewer mentioned playing it as a “frustrating, hollow, and unpleasant experience” as he encountered mission breaking bugs.

https://lmg.gg/samsongamerrantreview

Another reviewer pointed out to the games “overly simplistic and repetitive gameplay”

https://www.metacritic.com/publication/4pde/

Editor: 4P.DE Samson's review

https://www.metacritic.com/game/samson/

Another steam review cited the map as being the size of a basketball court and the game as a whole as unfinished and extremely repetitive.

https://steamcommunity.com/id/cyb0rg_slay3r/recommended/3634520

Creative director Christofer Sundberg posted a letter to Steam acknowledging the flaws, calling the game-breaking bugs and performance issues “unacceptable” but

https://lmg.gg/numberofreasonsSamson

Editor: highlight not working “Early impressions are mixed and many of you are experiencing game-breaking bugs and performance issues. That’s unacceptable and we are listening to everyone’s feedback and are hard at work to deliver the game we spent years of our lives developing.”

had "released a game with flaws for a number of reasons.” WHAT ARE THOSE REASONS?

https://lmg.gg/numberofreasonsSamson

Editor: Highlight not working “released a game with flaws for a number of reasons” quote highlight ty

A patch drops Friday, April 10th, and is targeting performance, crashes, and mission progression issues. The bones might be there, but right now you're better off waiting for the sale than funding the surgery. https://steamcommunity.com/app/3634520/discussions/0/800092562772785651/?snr=1_2108_9__2107

Editor: Just scroll through the patch page slowly zooming in

QUICKBITS

FORZA HORIZON: TOKYO DRIFT

April 8 - Forza Horizon 6 dropped the first 6 minutes of gameplay and gave out pre release copies to reviewers. People seemed hyped although it's likely these are paid promotions

https://news.xbox.com/en-us/2026/04/08/forza-horizon-6-preview-japan-collectibles-seamless-races-open-world-design/

https://www.autoblog.com/reviews/forza-horizon-6-honest-review

Gameplay trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1qlPZMfmiU

4:05 pretty visuals: https://youtu.be/H1qlPZMfmiU?t=245

Even the Sim guys are alright with it

https://www.overtake.gg/news/we-played-forza-horizon-6-finally-good-on-a-wheel.4362/

2:55 AE86 drifting into a car show clip for initial D joke

https://youtu.be/H1qlPZMfmiU?t=175

I CHOOSE YOU, GASEOUS BLOB

April 8 - No Man’s Sky now has Pokémon-style creature battles (this is funny because of the Pokemon patent getting denied)

https://www.nomanssky.com/xeno-arena-update/ (Editor scroll down to the headline)

https://www.pcgamer.com/games/sim/no-mans-skys-latest-update-is-an-entire-new-pokemon-style-creature-collection-and-battle-system-thats-an-entire-multiplayer-game-all-of-its-own/

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0pzvZ-8yIs

0:28: collect breed and genetically modify your eggs https://youtu.be/I0pzvZ-8yIs?t=28

0:36 battle clip: https://youtu.be/I0pzvZ-8yIs?t=36

They admit its inspired by Pokemon and Palworld: https://lmg.gg/ivPEu

USPTO denied Nintendo’s patent on battling: https://gamesfray.com/u-s-patent-examiner-rejects-nintendos-summon-subcharacter-and-let-it-fight-in-1-of-2-modes-patent-as-obvious-non-final-ruling/

UNSPORTSMANLIKE?

Pokémon GO Orlando Regional champion Firestar73 was stripped of his first place finish for "unsportsmanlike conduct" - and yes, competitive Pokémon GO is apparently a thing people fly internationally for. https://www.dexerto.com/pokemon/pokemon-go-champion-stripped-of-title-for-celebrating-his-win-3347073/

Look at this lil ol celebration.

https://x.com/ItsAXN/status/2040924406827086032

Editor: play clip from 0:03 to end, he pumps his fist and shakes his opponent's hand

Even The official Play Pokémon Tournament Rules Handbook, yes that also seemingly exists, doesn't actually define what counts as unsportsmanlike. It just says players must display "the spirit of the game." https://www.pokemon.com/static-assets/content-assets/cms2/pdf/play-pokemon/rules/play-pokemon-tournament-rules-handbook-en.pdf

Editor: handbook page 42, section 7.1 'Philosophy' highlight the vague language

#JusticeForFirestar is trending, and honestly, if you travel the world to be the best Pokémon GO player on earth, the least they can do is let you feel good about it for more than five seconds.

REWRITE EFFECT

April 4 - Mass Effect TV show ordered to rewrite scripts and make them "more appealing to non-gamers"

https://www.ign.com/articles/mass-effect-prime-video-series-amazon-tv-boss-reportedly-requested-rewrites-to-make-it-more-appealing-to-non-gamers

Original source: https://theankler.com/p/why-is-peter-friedlander-taking-so

https://www.eurogamer.net/mass-effect-tv-show-ordered-to-rewrite-scripts-and-make-them-more-appealing-to-non-gamers

https://cosmicbook.news/mass-effect-tv-show-rewrite-non-gamers-amazon

Pricey genre drama quote: https://lmg.gg/kqbT6

TO THE MOON!

Kerbal Space Program just hit its highest live player count on Steam in over a decade, which is impressive for a game that's been out since 2015.

https://www.pcgamer.com/games/sim/kerbal-space-program-rockets-to-its-highest-concurrent-player-count-on-steam-in-more-than-10-years/

It seems the Artemis 2 launch has reminded us of how cool space was again, as KSP hit 12,434 concurrent players shortly after.

https://lmg.gg/quoteartemisksp

Even more impressive considering KSP 2, its sequel, launched, imploded, and got abandoned by the publisher in the span of about two years.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/954850/Kerbal_Space_Program_2/

But unlike KSP 2, Artemis 2 thankfully did not implode and we will never abandon our space homies renewing our collective spirit and hope for the future. Perhaps what we all needed to be reminded of was the good and depths we can achieve as people when we come together. I bet you wont find anyone who hates it - well actually I spoke to soon…..

https://www.reddit.com/r/insanepeoplefacebook/comments/1sd17lr/antinasa_artemis_is_evil/#lightbox

Editor: Reddit post second image American Heritage center shit talking artemis 2 as evil based on bible teachings lmao